Updated: Jan 5
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse in which the abused person is made to feel worthless and has their "very worth as a human being" repeatedly dismissed by the abuser. Narcissists will often insult, degrade, shame, and humiliate their victims while maintaining the "self-absorbed grandiosity" they require to function. The behaviors of an abusive personality can take many forms including anything from verbally berating you and telling you how worthless you are to withholding affection or financial support.
Narcissistic relationship pattern is weird. If you're experiencing any of these signs that your relationship may be abusing in a manner that you feel about how do I overcome narcissistic abuse, then it's time for some help!
1. Your partner makes you feel "crazy" when you disagree with them: This can be a really dangerous situation for you because it causes you to doubt yourself and question whether or not your opinion is correct. The other person acts like they know the "real" truth in this situation and when you try to explain your side, they are convinced that you are the one who's wrong. This can sometimes even lead to a fight because the other person doesn't believe in your opinion and doesn't want to listen to it. If this is happening in your relationship, you're basically being gaslighted by your partner and it's important that you don't let them convince you of anything just because they say it's true. You know what's true for yourself!
2. You frequently do things to make your partner happy and meet their needs, but they're never reciprocating: When a narcissist loves you, your needs are always superseded by their own needs. The narcissist is so obsessed with their own needs that they can't focus on yours and if you're constantly putting yourself first, then it's just a matter of time before your partner will start to feel like you're out for yourself. This can be really hard on your relationship if the other person only seems to care about themselves and what makes them happy.
3. You feel invisible: Narcissists often won't see anything wrong with disrespecting or gaslighting you or being dishonest in any way they deem fit. They don't view their actions as harmful and so you're going to get the short end of the stick in all kinds of situations. If you're feeling alone and invisible in your relationship, then you're definitely being abused by someone.
4. Your partner is constantly putting you down or criticizing you: This can be really hard on your self-esteem and make it seem impossible for you to feel good about yourself if your partner is constantly bringing you down. The narcissist will make you feel like you're not important and they'll even insult your ideas in some way, then go back to pretending like nothing happened. This cycle can be so tough on your self-esteem that it makes you frustrated and annoyed with the relationship. At this point, it's pretty obvious that your partner is mentally abusing you, but being gaslighted is still a very common thing for victims of narcissistic abuse to experience.
5. You feel like that person uses your needs to get what they want: This is a really common occurrence in narcissistic relationships and you're probably not going to be able to change it. They may reply to your needs by saying things like "What about my needs?" or "You never think about me" and this can make you start feeling resentful and angry. The more you try to put yourself first, the more hurtful things they're going to say to you. You may even start feeling like you're being selfish by trying to care for yourself because they keep accusing you of thinking only of yourself. When you prioritize yourself, the narcissist will try to put you down and make you feel guilty for it.
6. Your partner always takes advantage of you when they're under stress or are under emotional or financial strain: This is another obvious sign that your partner is mentally abusive. When they're in a bad mood, the narcissist will immediately start taking advantage of you by criticizing and putting you down. They may even lie to you or deceive you in some way, then say that they're the one being punished by your refusal to trust them. When this is happening, it's very important that you stay calm and not listen to what they're saying because it's just a tactic they're using to make you feel guilty and bitchy. If you start taking the bait and letting them upset you, then you'll trigger all kinds of abusive behaviors in them and possibly even get yourself hurt or arrested.
7. Your partner is frequently "irritable and snappy" and then blames it on something you did or said (even when it's not true): This can be a very frustrating situation when you're not actually responsible for what annoys your partner. The narcissist will always find a way to blame something you've said or done and even though it's not true, they will continue to act like you're the person who's "wrong" instead of them. When this is happening, telling your partner that what they're saying is wrong isn't going to help at all because it just makes the situation worse for you!
8. You feel "on edge" all the time and the stress of the relationship is causing your physical health to suffer: This can be a very common occurrence if you're being abused by a narcissist and it can cause you to feel physically sick. Any type of abuse causes stress so if you're feeling like your partner is constantly abusing you, then it's definitely having an effect on your physical health.
9. Your partner never apologizes for hurting you or for doing something wrong: This is a surefire way to tell that you're being abused by someone. If they can't even apologize, then it's not going to be possible for them to care about your feelings or to understand what they did wrong. The narcissist will just keep punishing you and hurting you because they don't realize that they're doing something wrong.
10. Your partner won't stop "blaming" you for your problems and arguments: If your partner constantly blames you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship, they're being abusive. They'll keep blaming you without ever taking responsibility for their actions and it will start to feel impossible to have a real conversation with them. They'll keep making excuses that they're not responsible and then tell you that whatever happened was your fault instead of theirs. When this is happening, it's important to remind them that what they did was unacceptable and then walk away if they don't seem to get it. Just try to focus on how to overcome narcissistic abuse by your partner.
If you're being abused by a narcissist, then it's important to get help as soon as possible because they'll often take advantage of your vulnerability. When this is happening, it can feel like you can never do anything right and that no one will ever believe you. The only way to stop the abuse is to break the cycle and get out of the relationship for good. If you're still in an abusive relationship with a narcissist then it's important to know all the warning signs so that you can seek help before things get much worse than they already are.