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Letting Go: Here's how to and how not to

Life is all about change and getting through the hard times, but there are some changes that can't be avoided. Letting go is one of the hardest things to do, and the feeling of loss that comes with it can be overwhelming. It’s best to prepare yourself for the tough times before they happen so you know which worries or losses are worth holding onto. This article will tell you how to let go when it's time and how not to hold on too tightly when it's not necessary.

What do you have to let go of?

This question is a good place to start. Your actions and decisions in the past have made life what it is now, and how your present situation was created will determine how you handle it. If you lost your job, for example, take time to figure out why this happened and how it can be avoided in the future. If your spouse left you, try to understand what led him or her to this decision before you can let go. Giving yourself a fresh perspective on the situation is the first step in letting go.

How do you let go?

There are three phases of letting go: holding on too tightly, fighting against the change, or letting it happen. Holding on makes it harder to move on from the situation and often leads to more problems. Fighting against the change is usually a bad idea because the odds of success are slim. Letting it happen gives you time to accept your loss and move forward with your life. It is important to let go when you are ready, but letting go too soon can cause more problems than waiting a little longer. However, we understand that letting go is easier said than done. Here are some ways which will help you to let go of a feeling, thought or a person:

1. Take a look at the situation from a different perspective: Sit down and think about the situation, then ask yourself "What if I was on the other side of this situation?", or "What is one positive thing that I can take out of this?" Perspectives like these can make you realize things that you never knew before. Sometimes looking at a situation differently will make letting go easier.

2. Take some time to cool off: Sometimes we have so much built up emotion, it clouds our judgment and we only see things in a black and white perspective instead of taking time to look at different options. Taking some time away from the situation and thinking about it later can give you a different perspective on how to solve it.

3. Take a break, if you still can: It may seem like a lost cause, but sometimes you have to let go of something forever. This doesn't mean giving up on it, but it does mean not letting the feelings eat at your every thought. Taking time to mourn allows you to learn to live without that thing or person in your life.

4. Put yourself in a positive situation: If you're feeling down and negative, surround yourself with positive people and things that will lift the spirits of those who feel sad or depressed. These new situations and people can help open your mind to new ideas and thoughts about what life is really about - living through changes instead of dwelling on them for too long.

5. Talk to your friends and family: Talking with others who have been where you are now allows you to see things from a different perspective. You may realize that your loved one or friend is not so bad after all. They may be hurting because they are pushed away by a bad situation, then find that they are the only one who understands what they feel inside.

6. Be forgiving: Forgiving yourself or others helps to heal the pain that was caused by this change. When you forgive, you open your mind to what the future can bring. Forgiving goes a long way for both yourself and your loved ones.

7. Talk to a therapist: If you are having trouble coming to terms with the change, talking with a therapist can help you find other ways to look at the situation. It will allow you to see the good side of things and help you to learn from your mistakes without holding on to them for too long.

8. Stay open minded: One of the most important things that comes with letting go is keeping an open mind about what the future will bring. You have no idea how this change in your life can affect it in ways that you never thought possible. Patience, patience, patience.


Letting go is never easy, but it can be done. It is important to prepare yourself for the tough times before they happen so you know which worries or losses are worth holding onto. Try to take a look from a different perspective and think about what good can come from letting go of a loved one or friend. Taking time away from your negative situation can help bring you a new perspective on what life really is about, which could bring you closer to people around you - not push you away. These tips may seem hard to follow, but the more determined you are to move forward in life, the easier it will become and the more rewarding it will be.

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