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Signs Your Therapist Isn’t the Right Fit (And How to Switch)

Updated: Jul 29

“Not every therapist is your therapist—and that’s perfectly okay.”

When someone first starts therapy, they’re often hopeful. It’s supposed to feel like a warm cup of chai on a rainy day—soothing, comforting, clarifying. But after a few sessions, something might not feel quite right. The therapist seems rushed, glances at the clock too often, and offers more advice than genuine empathy.

Soon, self-doubt creeps in. “Is it me? Am I not trying hard enough?”

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. These are often the early signs your therapist isn’t the right fit—and recognizing them is the first step toward change. In this guide, Signs Your Therapist Isn’t the Right Fit (And How to Switch), we’ll gently walk through what to look out for, and how to switch with confidence, ease, and self-respect.

Signs Your Therapist Isn’t the Right Fit (And How to Switch)

You feel emotionally unsafe or judged during therapy sessions

The core of good therapy lies in emotional safety in therapy. If you’re holding back your truth, feeling like you need to edit your feelings, or sensing judgment—pause.

Therapy isn’t meant to make you feel smaller; it’s supposed to hold space for your bigness—your flaws, fears, and feelings.

Real-life example: Zoya, a 33-year-old working mom from Hyderabad, shared how her therapist subtly shamed her parenting choices. “She kept implying I was ‘too emotional’ with my kids. I started dreading sessions.” That’s not healing—that’s harm in disguise.


Your therapist talks more than they listen

If therapy feels like a lecture or a motivational podcast, something’s off. A good therapist listens—deeply, without interruption, without needing to “fix” you in the first 10 minutes.

You should feel like the therapist is walking beside you, not ahead of you with a flashlight telling you where to go.

This is especially important when seeking empathetic mental health support in India, where culturally, we’re used to being told what to do. But therapy isn’t advice-giving. It’s self-discovery—with a guide.


You feel stuck, lost, or confused after multiple therapy sessions

Sure, one or two emotional sessions can leave you feeling raw—but if you're consistently feeling worse after therapy, that’s worth noticing.

Feeling stuck in therapy isn’t always about your own resistance. Sometimes, it’s because the therapist isn’t asking the right questions, or they’re not connecting with your lived experience.


The therapist imposes personal beliefs or cultural bias

Therapists are human too. But if your therapist pushes rigid ideas about marriage, gender roles, or “normal behavior”—especially common in Indian settings—they may be letting cultural bias in therapy cloud their neutrality.

Scenario: Vikram, a 28-year-old queer man from Mumbai, opened up about dating struggles. His therapist suggested he try “not being too open” about his sexuality at work. That was the last session Vikram attended.

Therapy should be a space where you can show up as your full self—not a filtered version.


You feel unseen or unheard in sessions

Does your therapist forget your stories, mispronounce your name, or ask things you’ve already answered before? You may start wondering if your pain is even being registered.

Feeling invisible in therapy is deeply invalidating.

You deserve a therapist who remembers what matters to you—not just your diagnosis or issue, but your humanness.


There’s no structure, feedback, or sense of progress

If your therapy feels like an endless spiral with no roadmap, it's okay to ask for more clarity.

You can ask:

  •  “What are we working toward?”

  •  “How do you track progress in therapy?”

  •  “Can we reflect on what's working or not?”

Therapists should welcome this. If they get defensive or vague—that’s a red flag.


Your gut says: “This isn’t it.”

Even if your therapist checks all the boxes on paper—if your body feels tense during sessions or you leave feeling “off,” trust that.

Your gut is a valid therapist too. Sometimes, the chemistry just isn’t there, and that’s reason enough to make a switch.


How to switch your therapist in India without feeling guilty

We get it. This part is uncomfortable. Especially in Indian culture, we’re taught to adjust, not disrupt. But therapy isn’t a favor—it’s a service for your healing. You have full permission to change therapists if needed.

Here’s a simple, polite way to express it:

“Thank you for the time and support you’ve offered. I’ve been reflecting and feel I need to try a different therapeutic approach that may suit my current needs better. Wishing you all the best.”

You’re not ghosting. You’re choosing yourself.


How to find the right therapist for you in India

Switching therapists isn’t starting over—it’s starting again, more informed. Here’s how to make the process smoother:

  • Use a mental health platform that offers therapist matching support

    We offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you find someone who understands your needs, preferences, and comfort level.

  • Look for therapists who match your concerns

    Whether it’s therapy for anxiety in India, relationship counseling, grief support, or self-esteem work, check their expertise before you book.

  • Read bios and trust the tone

    If a therapist’s bio feels too clinical or cold, they might not be your style. Look for warmth, relatability, and curiosity.

  • Give yourself permission to try again

    Your healing is not on a deadline. Sometimes, the second or third therapist is the one who helps you bloom.


Closing thoughts: Switching therapists is not giving up—it’s growing wiser

You are allowed to outgrow a therapist. You are allowed to want more support, more understanding, more you in your healing.

Changing therapists doesn’t mean therapy failed. It means you’ve learned what doesn’t work—and you’re making space for what might.

Just like in any relationship, the right match can make all the difference. When you find a therapist who gets you, therapy becomes less about fixing yourself—and more about finally meeting yourself.

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Disclaimer:  Please note that Manoshala is not a crisis intervention helpline. In case of any crisis please seek immediate medical help or call suicide prevention helplines in India. 

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