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Understanding marriage anxiety: Here's everything you need to know!

Marriage anxiety is a difficult social construct that plagues many people, especially women. It's difficult to understand and not every person can relate to romantic feelings like love, passion and desire, but it's also easy to understand how they would feel an overwhelming amount of anxiety. Here, we'll give you a brief overview of marriage anxiety and provide resources for recovering from this problematic defense mechanism.

What causes marriage anxiety?

There are various causes of marriage anxiety. For one, it might be caused by a natural defense mechanism that surfaces to preserve your life and protect you from physical harm. Research shows that marriage anxiety can be a form of a self-defense mechanism that's used to keep you from being embarrassed or put in a situation where you could feel danger. It also has the ability to cause stress, which can be harmful if it's left unchecked for too long.

What happens during marriage anxiety?

The symptoms are almost instantaneous as soon as married couples get into any type of fight or argument, especially in the first year of marriage. For example, you might experience anxiety before going to bed because your spouse is texting you or talking with you and worry about the future. It can cause a lot of stress and other symptoms, such as:

  • Nervousness and feeling uncomfortable

  • Committing suicide to escape your marriage

  • Fear of being alone or getting divorced

  • Fear of getting married/fear of marriage

However, if these feelings are causing you to feel depressed and interrupting your daily functioning then it's important that you seek professional help from a licensed therapist or counselor as soon as possible.

How is marriage anxiety treated?

The best way to treat marriage anxiety is with behavioral therapy. It teaches people how to overcome marriage phobia and also how to handle their negative thoughts and actions in order to reduce the symptoms associated with this defense mechanism. Therapy can be very effective if your marriage anxiety isn't caused by something else like depression or other issues.

However, if you are looking for some self-help tips to reduce the symptoms of anxiety, we've curated a list for you:

1. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is all about self-awareness and it can be used to reduce the symptoms of anxiety. It requires no medication or professional treatment, but it takes practice. Start by getting into what you're feeling right now like the temperature of your body, the clothes you're wearing and how they feel/smell. This helps new mothers as they transition into a new phase of life and helps people with anxiety as they feel a sense of calmness and peace. This technique has been proven to prevent future flare-ups of anxiety because you'll never be fully present in the moment if your mind is constantly wondering about situations in the future or the past.

2. Take a social media break

If you're constantly checking your phone, reading negative comments on social media or worrying about what people will say about you; then take a break! Social media can cause a lot of stress and anxiety when people are posting funny memes or interacting with friends online. For example, you might receive a text from your spouse and start to feel anxious about what to say back. Now, you're on social media and see that someone just posted a funny meme about marriage. You might not feel anxiety at first, but then it hits you like a ton of bricks and now you have marriage anxiety. It's best to take a break from social media for the night or for the week to see if it helps reduce your anxiety levels.

3. Take a bath

You don't have to go for a full-fledged relaxing bath in order to reduce your anxiety. Some people find that even taking a shower helps them clear their head and find peace. Try to attend to what you're doing and focus on how the water feels as it's hitting your skin or the bubbles that are surrounding you. You can also use essential oils such as peppermint and lavender while in the hot tub or bathtub to help improve your mood.

4. Focus on your present

Remember, anxiety can be triggered when people worry about the future and panic about situations that have not yet occurred. It causes all of these negative emotions due to fear of what will happen next. One way to reduce anxiety is by focusing on your present. For example, ask yourself what you're doing right now and do a self-inventory. Which finger am I using to type this article? Are my feet touching the floor? How many children do I have? These questions will help you identify the current situation and keep your mind occupied while reducing the feelings of anxiety.

5. Talk to a friend

People with anxiety will sometimes feel tired out because they're over-analyzing situations. It's important to find someone that you can trust that will listen to you and try their best to provide insights or advice. Just having someone there for you and agreeing with your feelings can help reduce your anxiety symptoms.

6. Journal and draw

Journaling is good for anxiety because it helps people focus on the present moment, especially when they're writing about their dreams, goals or aspirations of the future. Drawings are also good because they require you to focus on tiny details. Focusing on these things will help reduce your overall negative emotions and lower your overall level of anxiety.

7. Exercise daily

Exercise is good for your mind and body and it can help relieve the symptoms of anxiety. If your anxiety isn't caused by something else like depression or other physical issues then exercise is a great way to reduce and prevent feelings of anxiety at home or in public, especially if you're always stuck at home all day. After exercising it's good to get some fresh air outside as well.

8. Go to the park or on a hike

If your anxiety isn't severe, then it might be good to take a day trip outside of your home to enjoy nature. It's always best to go with someone that you trust and can connect with easily. Just being around nature and taking in all of the colors, sounds and smells can help reduce anxiety symptoms.


While social anxiety and marriage can cause a lot of anxiety, you don't have to stick with it if you don't want to. Talk to a professional about your symptoms and find the best way to manage them. Your therapist or counselor can help you build up your confidence in order to reduce stress and improve your overall quality of life.

We hope you are equipped with tips on how to get rid of if you are scared of marriage after reading this article.


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