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Why are we feeling alone? Coping strategies and hidden impacts

Updated: 5 days ago

Loneliness makes you constantly feel that no one loves you and everyone is just busy. You do not feel like calling up your friends and family. You feel people have changed and it is no longer the same. Do you feel the same? If the answer is yes, then you could read this heartfelt blog from a person who often feels lonely too! 

First of all, please know that it's okay to feel this emotion. It's okay to accept that we are feeling lonely... it is okay, dear reader!

You know, many times we've felt that people change so much and wondered why. We felt distant from everyone in life—friends, family, colleagues—almost as if they couldn't understand us, and we didn't want to explain ourselves, so we stopped reaching out. Even when we did call sometimes, it all felt so superficial to us.

For quite some time, we felt this way until we recently noticed that it was becoming a pattern for us. That's when we realized we were feeling lonely and were giving up on our connections because we expected them to be a certain way, and when they weren't, we started to distance ourselves.

Then we started to notice its impact on us. like we feel:

  • Fatigued 

  • Constantly Sad 

  • Heavy in head 

  • Frustrated on loved ones 

  • Wanted to be indoors 

  • Started to ignore calls 

So, while we were writing in my diary, I noticed these words and patterns within myself. This is when I decided to take action, although I am still on a journey. Here are a few things.

Why are we felling alone?

Tips for loneliness and coping

  1. Explore your thoughts: Just express yourself via art, writing, singing, or any method to yourself first 

  2. Understand your pattern: From the above expression try to learn what is the underlying emotion about feeling lonely. Is it your expectation with or of people and are you doing what you are expecting? Is it you feeling not enough? What is it?  

  3. Reach out to existing connections: Is there a single person whom you can give the benefit of the doubt and speak with? Can you make that one call and express your situation and probably learn about the other side too?  

  4. Limit social media comparison: Try to tell yourself what people post and what they live are two different things. They may not be having so many relationships as they “repost in stories” 

  5. Learn new skills: Learn something new that interests you, like cooking, photography, or a new language. This could help you find people with whom you can relate as of now 

  6. Pet ownership: Consider adopting a dog, cat, or another animal that suits your lifestyle and living situation.

  7. Therapy - Try to speak to a therapist who can help you find out your patterns and then probably break them as well 

  8. List of people - Make a list of people who are close to you in various ways and just see when you called them last time or contacted them last time.

Impact of loneliness

Social isolation

  • Lack of social contact: This involves having few or no close relationships, limited social interaction, and a general absence of a supportive network.

  • Physical distance: This can be due to geographical remoteness, living alone, or limited mobility.

  • Reduced participation in social activities: This includes avoiding social gatherings, clubs, or events where connection is possible.

Emotional disconnection

  • Feeling unseen or unheard: This is the sense that your thoughts and feelings don't matter to anyone, leading to a lack of emotional intimacy.

  • Difficulty forming close bonds: This can manifest as difficulty trusting others, opening up emotionally, or maintaining meaningful relationships.

  • Sense of not belonging: This feeling of being fundamentally different or separate from others can lead to isolation and a lack of connection.

Mental and physical health impacts

  • Negative self-talk: Feeling lonely can lead to increased self-criticism and negative thoughts about oneself.

  • Increased anxiety and depression: Loneliness is a risk factor for these mental health conditions.

  • Changes in sleep and appetite: Loneliness can disrupt sleep patterns and lead to unhealthy eating habits.

  • Loss of interest in activities: When feeling lonely, people may withdraw from hobbies and activities they once enjoyed.

Why are we feeling alone?

Why are we felling alone?

Common reasons for why are we feeling alone.

  • Moving to a new place: Leaving behind established social circles and familiar surroundings can be isolating, especially if it takes time to build new connections.

  • Recent life changes: Major life transitions, like starting a new job, getting married, or having children, can disrupt existing social networks and leave individuals feeling disconnected.

  • Breakups and divorce: The loss of a romantic partner can be a significant source of loneliness, as it often involves the loss of companionship, intimacy, and shared social circles.

  • Financial difficulties: Financial struggles can limit participation in social activities and create feelings of isolationl

  • Lack of social skills: Some individuals may struggle with social interaction due to shyness, difficulty initiating conversations, or social anxiety.

Feeling lonely is a rising trend in India  

Loneliness, while often overlooked, is a significant public health concern with far-reaching consequences. Recognizing its potential causes and the impact it can have on individuals is crucial.

Growing prevalence: Studies indicate a rising trend of loneliness in India, particularly among:

  • Elderly: The Longitudinal Ageing Study in India revealed that over 20% of adults aged 45 and above experience moderate to severe loneliness.

  • Youth: A study by the Centre for the Study of Developing Societies found that 12% of Indian youth reported frequent feelings of loneliness and depression.

Contributing factors: Loneliness in India is attributed to various factors, including:

  • Urbanization and social change: Rapid urban growth and changing family structures can lead to a lack of social support.

  • Stigma around mental health: Openly discussing and addressing loneliness is often discouraged, hindering access to help.

  • Socioeconomic disparities: Poverty, lack of education, and limited access to resources can exacerbate feelings of isolation.

Maybe next time when you feel lonely rather than working more or watching something try to speak to someone on your list. Just make that CALL! 


Q. Is loneliness the same as being alone? 

A. No, while some people who are alone may experience loneliness, it's not always the case. Loneliness is the feeling of disconnection and lack of meaningful social connection, even when surrounded by people.

Q. How long does loneliness typically last?

A. The duration of loneliness varies greatly depending on the individual and the underlying cause. It can be a temporary feeling triggered by a specific life event or a chronic condition that persists for longer periods.

Q. Is it possible to be lonely even in a relationship?

A. Yes, it's possible to feel lonely even when you're in a romantic relationship. This can happen if you don't feel a deep emotional connection with your partner, lack intimacy, or experience communication difficulties.

Q. Is there a personality type more prone to loneliness?

A. While not a definitive factor, certain personality traits can make individuals more susceptible to loneliness.


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