How to know if this is the right therapist for me?

Starting therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown. You may wonder whether the person across from you truly understands your world, your struggles, and your goals. It is common to ask yourself how to know if this is the right therapist for me. In India, where conversations about mental health are still growing and choices of therapists are limited in some areas, this question becomes even more important. The right therapist is not just someone with a degree on the wall but someone who creates a safe space, sets clear goals with you, and helps you feel lighter or clearer after sessions. This blog will help you identify the signs of a good fit, spot red flags, and run a simple self-check so you can make confident decisions about your healing journey.

How to run a three minute therapist fit self check

Answer honestly right after your session.

1. Safety and respect: Did I feel safe saying hard things? Did my therapist listen without judgment?

2. Clarity and plan: Do I know what we are working on? Can I name the next step?

3. Emotional fit: Do I feel understood in both facts and feelings?

4. Challenge level: Do I feel gently challenged in a way I can handle?

5. Small outcomes: After the session did I gain a new tool or a new way to see my problem.

   
   

If you score four or five yes answers, you likely have a good fit. If you score two or fewer yes answers for two sessions in a row, raise it with your therapist or explore a new match.

How to know if this is the right therapist for me

• You feel safe, seen, and not judged

• The therapist summarizes your words accurately and checks if they got it right

• Goals are jointly defined in plain language such as sleep better, fewer panic spirals, speak up at work

• There is a simple structure. Start with check in, work on one focus area, end with a small plan

• Ideas are evidence based and explained simply. For example what is exposure practice, what is cognitive reframing

• You can say this is not working for me and the therapist adapts

• You notice small shifts within four to six sessions. Examples include better sleep, fewer arguments, improved appetite, one clear boundary set, fewer doom scroll episodes

• Boundaries are steady. No oversharing by the therapist. No demands to meet outside the session. Payment and time rules are clear

• Cultural and language comfort is present. You can use your own words for family roles, faith, caste context, and workplace pressure. The therapist respects this

Red flags that suggest the fit is not right

• You feel blamed or lectured

• The therapist pushes personal beliefs or makes you defend your values

• There is no treatment plan even after several sessions

• Techniques are used without consent or explanation

• Frequent cancellations or late starts without accountability

• You leave most sessions more confused and alone

• You fear bringing up feedback because the therapist may react poorly

If two or more red flags repeat after you share a concern, consider changing therapists.

If you recognize these red flags, try a short discovery call with a different therapist to compare how a safer fit feels. Download the Manoshala App from the Google Play Store or the IOS App Store: a safe and supportive space to manage your mental well-being. Find resources, track your mood, and talk to a therapist.

What to expect in the first sessions to know if this is the right therapist

• Session one Story and safety. You share what brings you here. The therapist clarifies confidentiality and boundaries. Initial goals are drafted in your words.

• Session two Map and plan. You and the therapist pick one focus area. You agree on practical steps for the week.

• Session three Fit review. You both review what is working and what is not. You adjust goals and decide whether to continue or request a referral.

Still unsure after your self reflection? Sometimes a short conversation with a professional can make things clearer. You can try schedule a Free 15-minute Mental Health Consultation.

How many sessions before you know

Most people get a fair sense of fit within two sessions. For outcome signals give it four to six sessions. If there is trauma or complex stressors progress may feel slower at first. Honest check ins help keep momentum.

How to compare online and in person therapy in India

• Privacy and convenience Online can reduce travel time and offers more language options

• Body language and comfort In person may suit people who prefer a room and face to face presence

• Access and cost Online can widen choices across cities and sometimes lower fees Choose the format where you feel safer and more consistent. That feeling often predicts progress.

Cost and access in India

• Common private session range is one thousand to three thousand rupees in many cities. Some specialists or longer sessions cost more

• Many therapists offer a sliding scale on request

• Wait times vary by city and specialization. Metros often offer faster first appointments while follow ups may be weekly or fortnightly

• Ask about language options. Hindi, English, and regional languages are widely available online

Choosing the right therapist is a deeply personal decision. If you’re curious but hesitant, consider booking a free consultation at Manoshala to explore whether the connection feels right for you.

Simple science behind a good fit

Psychotherapy research, often called the Common Factors Theory, shows that outcomes are shaped by elements that work across all therapy methods. These include a strong alliance which means agreement on goals and tasks plus a bond of trust clear expectations of improvement, and consistent attendance. Techniques do matter, but the relationship is what allows those techniques to land. In plain words, if you feel safe and the plan makes sense, your brain is more open to learning and change.

What to say if you want to change therapists

Use clear and kind words.

• Thank you for the time and effort so far

• I am looking for a different style to meet my current needs

• I would appreciate a referral for someone who focuses on my concern or speaks my preferred language

Changing therapists is about fit, not about blame.

Not sure yet. Book one free consultation with Manoshala, to test fit with a therapist who matches your language and comfort preferences. Schedule a Free 15-minute Mental Health Consultation.

Final Thoughts

Therapy is a partnership, not a product you buy off the shelf. The right therapist creates a space where you feel both safe and stretched, a balance of comfort and challenge that helps you grow. In India, where access to mental health support is still limited, making sure you are with the right professional is not a luxury, it is essential. If your sessions leave you feeling respected, clearer, and more hopeful, you are likely on the right track. If not, remember that switching therapists is not a failure but a step toward better care.

If you see yourself in these reflections and want clarity, take the next step. Book a free consultation with a therapist who matches your needs, language, and comfort level. The right fit can make all the difference in your healing journey.

Download the Manoshala App from the Google Play Store or the IOS App Store: a safe and supportive space to manage your mental well-being. Find resources, track your mood, and talk to a therapist.

FAQs

How do I know if the discomfort I feel is growth or a bad fit 

Therapy can feel uncomfortable when you face hard truths. That is healthy discomfort. A bad fit feels unsafe, shaming, or confusing. If you feel steady care and a clear plan alongside the discomfort, it is likely growth.

What if I like my therapist as a person but see no progress?

Share this directly. Ask for a review of goals and measures. If change remains minimal after four to six sessions, consider a new approach or a new therapist.

Is it okay to ask about a therapist’s training or method?

Yes. Ask about their approach and how it helps your concern. Ask how progress will be tracked. A good therapist will answer in simple words.

Can I involve a family member in India? 

Many people prefer this for support. Discuss consent and boundaries. Your therapist can plan a joint session if it helps your goals.

How do I find a therapist who speaks my language?

During outreach, mention your preferred language and any cultural needs. Many therapists provide services in multiple Indian languages, both online and in person.

What if fees are a concern?

Ask about sliding scale options. Consider online sessions to widen choices. Clarify session length and frequency to plan costs.

Do I have to stay with the first therapist I meet?

No. The first meeting is a test of comfort and clarity. Your mental health deserves the best fit you can find.