Updated: Aug 28
Parenting is one of the key factors in shaping one’s personality. It’s quite a common saying that “must have been taught at home or learnt at school” when a kid behaves a certain way. Not surprisingly, most adult behavioral patterns also have their roots in childhood, highly influenced by their parenting. For example, when one is avoidant of the partner, it usually stems from being abandoned by a parent or a guardian who acts as a parent figure.
This hypothesis is based on Bowlby & Ainsworth’s Attachment Theory (1991), which proposes that early childhood experiences have a profound impact on adult romantic and interpersonal relationships.
A lot of research has been done on the topic as it evokes huge amounts of curiosity and utility. The utility is so as schools, colleges , both educational and parental institutes find research in the area instrumental in planning their developmental curriculum.
Certain set parenting styles have been propounded.
One of the most known among the same is Baumrind’s classification of parenting styles as Authoritative, Authoritarian, Neglectful and Permissive.
Various researches have also been laid to ascertain the efficacy of the same on child development, later impact on personality, also their correlation with anxiety and depression (Rapee. 1997).
Authoritative Parenting Style involves warmth and control from parents towards their child or children. It is said to have positive outcomes as the children feel heard and follow the rules laid down by parents.
Authoritarian Parenting Style is compared to Military Style wherein the parent acts as a figure of authority and is meant to be intimidating. The child fears communicating one's thoughts and feelings and wishes to the parent.
Neglectful Parenting involves neglect of the kid. This type of parenting has been noticed to elicit attention seeking behavior in the child.
Permissive Parenting is the one wherein the Parent says “no” to nothing and the child becomes a brat as a result.
It has been noted that Neglectful Parenting has the most negative impact on child development and Authoritative Parenting the most Positive. As the child knows clear boundaries of right and wrong behavior in Authoritative Parenting so the child has a relatively clear sense of good and bad behavior directed by parents which then matures into a self laid well-defined set of rules. However, in Neglectful Parenting Style, the child is not paid attention to, doesn’t know which behavior of theirs has evoked such a reaction of neglect of the parent. Maternal neglect has been associated with high rates of delinquency and vandalism in adolescents.
Authoritarian Parenting has mostly been linked to bullying behavior of children in school. As the parent or caretaker passes their childhood trauma to their child in the form of strict parenting. Permissive Parenting is common in Indian culture as due to cultural reasons sometimes the children are revered and seen as a form of deities. This leads to overpampering of children unlike in the western cultures. This kind of parenting yields violent and dominating behavior.
An eclectic approach to parenting practices , tailored to the needs of each child is the best way to go. After all, children's temperamental patterns and needs are based on their parents, so how hard could it be? Managing children and adolescents is not an easy task, however, a rudimentary form of attention and warmth concocted with certain set rules and boundaries has a long way to go.
As parents or as caregivers to children we may like to understand our parenting style and its impact on children. To know more about it, you can talk to our parental counseling team.
As parents of children who are students, we may also explore enrolling them in student counseling. It aimed to allow students distress and hold space for themselves.
If your child's age is between 5-9 years and you want your children to inculcate well being since early age, you can consider engaging themselves in educational yoga session.
Varsha Agarwal, Writer, Manoshala
Bhavya P, Counselling Psychologist, ManoShala