The world would be a much less inviting place without people who take care of others. One aspect of being an anxiety-ridden person is constantly feeling awkward and off-balance in the grand scheme of things, especially when you're trying to navigate your way around life. There are a few things that you should never say to your college mate struggling with anxiety. If you've ever found yourself saying one or more of these insensitive remarks, we hope this article finds its way into your hands.
1. "Bhai, aise number layega toh teri job ni lagni''
Having a good score in college is important to some extent, but not an absolute and only necessity. It is common for students to compete on the basis of scores leaving students under pressure and stress.
It's been a huge pressure on every student since Day 1. Especially when students come from middle class families, they are always scared of wasting their parents' hard-earned money. It is true, certain people are unable to get a decent college job due to the lack of opportunities in their surrounding areas.
2. "Teri girlfriend kab banegi? Terese koi set nahi ho rahi kya?"
It's very common for college students to treat their "relationship tag" as a status symbol. Often, this brings peer pressure in students who aren't focusing on their dating life. They simply want to focus on their studies and other passionate career choices. However, when someone brings up the topic of their relationships at the wrong time, it can make them feel like they're a personal failure.
3. "Teri shakal dekh kar toh koi bhi darr jaaye"
Bullying is an unfortunate reality for many college students, but it is not something that people should undergo in these delicate years of life. It isn't just the physical damage that can be done to them, but also the mental and psychological abuse that is often unpolished.
If you're experiencing bullying in your campus and don't know what to do about it, find the helpline number or find an official way to report the same. If you have any information about a case at your school, report it immediately since colleges have a zero-tolerance policy against this issue.
4. "Bhai zayada soch mat bus khush rahakar. Sab theek hojayega"
When someone is going through a rough patch in your life, it is often tough to find the right words to help them. However, if you want to talk about the problem with an anxious person, the wrong choice of words can worsen the situation for them. It might seem like a simple thing, but it's more than that. A little bit of thought before you speak can make the world of difference for your college mate, especially if they are dealing with something emotional.
5. "Yeh anxiety, depression sab bakwas hai, perform na krne k bahane hai bhai. Koi na bhai tum chill karo”
A lot of times, we end up dismissing students' mental health issues as "excuses" of not being able to perform. This is something that needs to be stopped immediately. Most of us have been taught that mental health issues are something that you can "overcome" without doing anything at all. This kind of statement is wrong in terms of how the media portrays mental illness, but it's also toxic and can make your friend feel more alienated than they already do.
Moreover, these issues are not things that you can simply "overcome" in life.
Takeaway
It is not something to be taken lightly, but everyone has a different way of dealing with anxiety and depression. You can't force anyone to talk about these types of issues because it'll only make them feel more alienated than what they already do. Try to give them privacy and lend them your silent support rather than giving them unwanted advice, it's enough to help them feel better at least. It’s best to not push your anxious college friends to do something that they are feeling hesitant about. Moreover, we should try not to make a big deal out of small setbacks and failures. Even if as a friend you’re struggling to support such friends, we can just step back and ensure we’re not making it any worse for them
In case you’re looking for more information and guidance on how you can support someone who is emotionally struggling, you can join our conscious caregiver workshop. It’s an interactive roundtable for caregivers led by an experienced psychologist.
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